Over-parenting is the situation where parents show more than required or needed attention on their children considering their age, stage of life, personality traits, etc. The term helicopter parenting was coined by Dr. Haim Ginott in the year 1969 in his book Between Parent and Teenager.
A helicopter parent is someone who is overprotective and over interested in their child’s life than what is required or needed for their child. Being a parent who is always involved in their child’s daily activities is not a bad thing but a parent who tries to teach a grown-up child of 15 years how to brush his teeth, how to play correctly and how to dress up well are nothing but signs of over-parenting.
Being involved in a child’s life is not a bad thing. It rather increases the child’s confidence and motivates them, helps to build a strong parent-child bonding and also makes the child more successful after growing up. But one needs to understand the line which divides being an actively involved parent and the overly involved parent. There is no harm in teaching children the right and wrong things of life, but at times kids should be left alone to learn and do things on their own to become an independent person.
Managing for the buds
Parents who attempt to micromanage things in their child’s life always struggle to find happiness in whatever their child achieve. Parents constantly tend to be around their child and extend their support so that kids don’t have any emotional or physical discomfort, ensure that they are taking the right decision and don’t hurt themselves at any point of time. But this overindulgence and hyper-vigilance can have the serious impact on the child’s overall growth and development which will make him overly dependent on his parents.
Signs that you are over-parenting:
• When you tend to be too picky and demanding over little things with a small child
• Trying to micromanage your child’s every little move
• Struggling to let your child make their own choices
• Fearing the consequences if your child fails and helping her before she even tries something
• The Tendency to worry about issues which usually other parents don’t
• Not giving your child any responsibility even though he is capable of taking it
• Restraining your child from what you are actually scared of
• You tend to panic and can’t withstand your child’s failure or any wrong decision made by them
• You expect perfection in everything they do
Effects of over-parenting on your child:
• Children tend to have low self-esteem
• Your child needs your support constantly even though he is capable of doing it on his own
• Depression and anxiety disorder
• Difficulty in finding employment due to low confidence level and over-dependent on parents
• Your child will tend to give-up quickly
• They cannot work under pressure or during an emergency situation without anyone’s help
• Difficulty in socializing
• They find it difficult to accept failure and tend to be pessimistic
People learn from trial and error. Children learn the best skills when they face it with obstacles, failures and the wrong choices. Parents can do their best by educating their child, supporting them and empower their children to make the best decision for themselves. Keep your fears in check and don’t let make yourself a helicopter parent. Let your children learn and make the best choices on their own.